thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

(Source: sofiajonze, via fooffighters)

fatallywhimsical:

benedictbooty:

Remember Wendy Davis?

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You know, the badass democrat who fillibustered for 11 hours straight to conserve women’s rights in Texas?

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Well, this wonderful and amazing woman has announced her campaign for Texas governor!

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Let’s show her some goddamn support!

Her opponent, Greg Abbott, is all about “traditional values.”

 What fucking good have “traditional values” ever done for anyone?

Not a goddamn thing, that’s what. Vote for Wendy Davis.

(via samiwinnchester)

nointerrruption:

nointerrruption:

how come your lips dont touch when you say touch but they touch when you say separate 

image

(Source: okaywork, via samiwinnchester)

paradoxes-for-breakfast:

reasons why halloween is the best holiday:

  1. you are not obliged to visit your relatives
  2. you are not obliged to get gifts for anyone
  3. people will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than halloween
  4. its the only day when its socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin

(Source: caesarzeppeliofficial, via castillito)